.my beautiful life.

.too many things on my mind.

2012-02-12T09:31:00.001+08:00

ive been busy with lots of things - school, house chores and of course some sewing projects. I wish i have my sewing machine back.. Cant wait for next weekend to have it back and more stuffs to come up with ;)

In general, life has been great these days. I am totally happy with whats going on.. Alhamdullillah. And now that i am at my 28th weeks pregnant, we've been thinking of some names for our little bundle of joy. In fact, we've chosen one but we're thinking to add another name to go with it. Honestly, i cant wait to meet you sweetheart.

Lots of planning have been going on. We've been discussing about having a child in our home, some things will have to change to make it child friendly, having a child in our lives (oh yes,
speaking of being good parents and being a family), about the nursery (project to commence next week starting with the painting of the room). Cant believe there are so much to do! And havent done much shopping yet!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.of joy.

2012-01-12T23:31:00.001+08:00

Dear sweetheart,
daddy felt you last night. it was his first time and he got really excited. not quite sure if you were kicking or hiccup-ing. he felt you again around six am this morning and had been talking about it over and over again. he's one happy man today ;)

you're amazing.

we love you.

xx

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.been busy.

2012-01-11T19:12:00.001+08:00

ive been busy last night cutting out the fabrics. So far there are cut outs of two baby dresses, four bibs, a pair of booties and a pair of baby pants. Im thinking of going out tonight to get more fabrics, maybe after dinner. But we'll see how it goes. Sweet Adi (despite calling him 'sweet') might not be interested to go to 'kedai kain' after a long day at work! Things are great at home though im getting heavier :( lying down flat on my back is the worst position ever especially when im on the floor. It'll take the whole minute just to get up! And yes, i pee a lot and very regular that many times ive thought of adult diapers :| and of course, Adi thought the idea is hilarious and also ridiculous. Cant imagine the look on his face if i got one on. So school, oh well, the second week in term 2 is already giving me lots of headache. I was absent on Monday because of extreme tiredness + dizziness. Today, two children were fighting over the A4 sized whiteboard and both were hurt. One's got some very obvious scratches on her arm and the other has got a swollen lower lip. Honestly, i was extremely panicking because both are the school teachers' children. However, i managed to solve the problem and of course the crying part which was driving me half insane. Oh kids! Im so grateful im one patient teacher.- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.the other pair.

2012-01-03T01:28:00.001+08:00

i made my baby another pair of shoes. this time it is a girl's shoes compared to the first one which is more of a unisex type. this pair took me about a week because i had to stop sewing for few days due to errands and other responsibilities. im getting better at it now, Alhamdullillah but obviously not perfect like the ones you buy from the shops :)

Anyway, today i went to Kamdar to get more materials and might start on making little dresses and bibs. Gone bonkers with all the cottons. There are so many kinds of them and the patterns are fantastic! Didnt spend much because im so aware that im still at the learning stage so i dont want to waste the materials especially the expensive ones.

School's starting very soon and i wonder if i can ever find the time to start with the projects.
I'll try my best. I'll definitely find the time.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.subhanallah.

2012-01-02T22:56:00.001+08:00

you amaze me everytime you move.

at twenty two weeks and three days

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.marking the 22nd week.

2011-12-31T01:47:00.001+08:00

today i finished making one side of my baby's shoes. This time the sewing is much better and hubs is loving it so much. Im loving it too! Cant wait to finish the other side so it'll become a pair!

My baby has been moving a lot these days and i am enjoying it. Maybe you're growing bigger and i can feel you better now. Grow well child, we cant hardly wait to see you. As of today, i am 22 weeks pregnant ;) Alhamdullillah...

Also today, ive started to plan the nursery. Is it too early? Oh well.. I guess thats alright. We havent started on anything yet, just planning on the colour and the settings. Havent bought all the big things yet. Not now.

I will have to sacrifice my art room :( which is not really making me feel happy about it because i cant imagine where should i relocate all my arts stuffs, materials, fabrics, books, sewing machine and other craps! But for you, Poppet sweetheart, i will do my best. I'd like you to have your own room when you're still little ;)

We'll see how it goes.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.the washing machine episode.

2011-12-23T03:18:00.002+08:00

this morning was quite funny when you startled (at least thats what i thought) with the sound of the washing machine. Some clothes got stuck and the spinner was making loud banging sound and you moved so strong i felt ticklish and was laughing to myself. Maybe you were still enjoying your sleep and the sound probably annoyed you. Sorry sweet pie but mummy had to do her piles of laundry!

Anyway this is me at 21 weeks. Was at modernmum today trying this top but didnt buy it :(

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.made with love.

2011-12-20T12:29:00.001+08:00

I finally managed to finish the other side and now it's a pair!
xxx

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.i made my baby's first booties.

2011-12-20T00:25:00.001+08:00

today's been great and im one happy mum-to-be.

i made my unborn child's first booties today. Honestly, it's not as perfect or as neat as it should be but oh well, it's my first attempt and i will surely improve with my sewing skills. I made one side today and will continue with the other side tomorrow. Might also sew a matching bib with the pair. We'll see how it goes. I dont really have much in my sewing kit and materials now. Need to do some shopping ASAP.

I also have lots of other things in mind that i'd like to make. time, effort, passion and energy will decide on that. Anyway, since i dont have my sewing machine with me now, everything is hand-sewn. Tiring, but im enjoying the whole process.

Cant wait for tomorrow!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.insyaAllah.

2011-12-18T22:00:00.001+08:00

photo courtesy from google images

...and i cant stop dreaming and smiling all day long

xxx

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.at 20.

2011-12-18T07:48:00.002+08:00

this week i am 20 weeks pregnant. ive asked around and been doing some readings about when to buy baby stuffs and most of them say it's about time. so as planned earlier, we're going to do a little bit of baby shopping this month. i dont really know what to get at this stage so the other day i made a list of things to buy and ordered them in priorities and since we've planned to go to KL, i thought might as well just do the shopping there. BUT, yesterday happened to be one of the best days in my pregnancy life because one of the malls in Kuantan is having the baby fair organised by the suppliers from KL. It was totally 'langkah kanan'! I was SO delighted especially when seeing all the marked down prices. It is like a dream came true because there are things i thought i'd never buy because of the agak mahal prices but since most things are on 50% to 70% discounts, Alhamdullillah we managed to buy bits and pieces for Poppet and pressies for friends who are delivering their bundle of joy soon ;)

I also bought a belly band from modernmum and oh my, never knew how comfy it could be when i put it on. Some people say it's not necessary so i decided not to buy at first but since my belly is growing, i decided to give it a try and yes, i really like it especially when i cant zip or button my pants or skirt. It helps to cover the gap and support the belly.

anyway, Poppet's movement is much stronger now but still cant be felt by others. I can actually feel the movements some time in the afternoons and late nights. One time it woke me up from sleep in the middle of the night because it's so ticklish and i was laughing to myself. And of course Adi thought i was laughing in my sleep!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.of all the things that could hit me.

2011-12-09T16:55:00.001+08:00

I have a sty. My left eye did felt funny yesterday but it wasnt itchy or looked like a sty so with full confidence i thought and had been telling people that
something bit me where the bottom eyelashes are. How stupid! How could i have not known??!! It isnt my first time anyway.. Probably because this time the symptoms arent the same at all. Since im having such an interesting plan this coming weekend - we'll be off to the beach! Im so craving for this and the weather has been good this week so i CANNOT be sick!! Totally not ruining this plus Aly and Kasey are coming with us. So worried me (apart from the awesome weekend i dont want to miss, i was also worried because im carrying a human being in me and i needed to make sure that everything is safe) went to see the Doctor and he said that i have to see the specialist to remove the sty and since it was 10pm, he said better to have it done the next morning. At the moment all i was thinking was- how serious is this? or how ridiculous are you? It's just a sty! People dont remove styes! They just put eye drops or hot cloth on it. Im not a Doctor but i do know if one is taking advantage of another (oh, yes, i went to a private hospital). As a matter of fact, i wouldnt go at first place but because im pregnant, i needed to check what im having plus i have to always make sure any prescription taken is safe. So, paid some amount of money, brought home some antibiotics, some painkillers and a bottle of eye drop. Took antibiotics and the eye drop before bed and woke up this morning with a red swollen eye and very crusty! Opening the left eye was a little bit of a struggle but i managed. Honestly, i felt frustrated because i thought it's getting worst and i cant miss school today because it's Sparkle Day. Cleaned the eye and put one more drop of the medicine. Alhamdullillah the redness and swelling reduced big time! Off to school afterwards and had a brilliant time enjoying Sparkle Day, excellent Christmas lunch -pot luck from everyone, i brought trifles for dessert. Super awesome games and contests. The children came out with fantastic modified version of 12 Days of Christmas song and performances and Father Christmas came to light up their lives.

Anyway, my eye is definitely getting better with just the eye drops and antibiotics, Alhamdullillah.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.wordless wednesday.

2011-12-07T19:34:00.001+08:00

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.hello you.

2011-12-06T23:26:00.002+08:00

As of now i am 18 weeks pregnant, alhamdullilah and yesterday was the first second trimester meet with the Dr.
My favourite Dr was off duty but we didnt want to wait any longer to see the little angel inside me so Dr Syafnie it was instead of Dr Azian. The one hour of waiting was worthwhile when we saw our tiny little angel actively kicking, doing sommersaults and even waving (at us, i supposed!) Dr Syafnie was like "ya Allah, aktifnya dia ni!" and there was one part where our baby was putting the hands behind the head which is exactly like how i sleep. Are you trying to tease my style of sleeping sweetheart? and Adi thought it's funny and we kept on talking about that til dinner. He's one happy dad-to-be! Too obvious!!

Dear little one,
Daddy has been saying that you look like me since he saw you on the screen yesterday. I have no clue how in the world he can say that because all i saw was a blurry screen with you moving around -non-stop. It's impossible to interpret how you look like because it's still quite early and it's not even a 3D or 4D u/s scanner! Plus we didnt even get to see if im baking a blue or a pink cake! I guess we have to wait for the next visit then ;)
til then poppet, we love you xx

Love,
Mum

p/s: Dad's reading to us tonight, he's in the other room choosing a book. I wonder what book he's choosing.. Here he comes!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

dear Niyaz, sweetheart

2011-11-01T17:36:00.001+08:00

We would have met in November, but Allah swt loves you more and Allah swt knows better.

We love you, always xx

Love,
Mum
and
Dad.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

;)

2011-09-24T15:02:00.001+08:00

It has been forever!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.my love, Niyaz.

2011-07-21T14:37:00.003+08:00

today marks exactly one month.

i miss you, son.

yes, our baby was a boy.

we named him Emir Niyaz Bin Dzul Azwardi Shah.

well, i couldnt sleep last night but thinking of him. i cried so much thinking of all the wonderful things that could have happened. Many people say..
"insyaAllah rezeki akan ada lagi lepas ni, tawakal banyak banyak, sekurang kurangnya dah ada anak kat syurga yang berzikir untuk Suya and Adi"

and yes, honestly, i do envy friends who are pregnant. talking about their pregnancy stories and experiences and such. at times i cant bear it at all but most times, i just have to be strong enough though tears pool in my eyes and heart breaks into pieces.

the day i 'delivered' Niyaz, i was in sort of labour pain though not exactly like it because my baby was just about 14 weeks old. i asked the Dr. if thats the kind of pain women feel when giving birth, and she said no, it is more painful because the baby is way bigger than mine.

well, i had contractions. i tried so hard not to cry but i did because it was really painful, such pain i've never felt before plus, knowing the fact that my baby was coming out before time. at the time, i couldnt imagine what the baby will look like or even myself. but when the time came, when Niyaz actually came out, he looked real. his face, his hands, fingers, body, legs, thighs, knees, eyes, ears, nose.. they all looked real i couldnt believe my eyes. and it was clearly seen that he was a boy ;)and he looked calm like he was soundly asleep.

my heart dropped, both hubby and i were speechless and both broke into tears.

i had to go through more procedures but was discharged from the hospital around 3pm. we went back home and hubby accompanied by two of his good friends went to Tanah Perkuburan Islam Balok to bury our baby.

.this is hard.

2011-07-02T16:39:00.005+08:00

this is really hard.

i have been wanting to write everything about it but i didnt have the strength to do so. i have never felt this way about writing. usually i am being plain lazy and started to blame being inspiration-less.

today, being home alone, i started to look back to the places i've been avoiding for.
i started to do a recount to the events and finally found a whole lot of courage and strength to write.

i then realised how important it is to write about it. to tell people about it. to remember about it and to look back at it over and over again. it makes me even stronger to live my life and face life consequences.

honestly, i would say my whole 13th week of pregnancy was tough. i wrote about it in my previous posts. in summary, i was not me. i changed and my husband had a really difficult time adjusting to it. he's brilliant though. and i am extremely happy and blessed to have such a wonderful husband to live my life with. i am forever thankful.

On Tuesday, June 13th, i woke up in the morning and started to get ready for school. one of the usual thing i did was to look in the mirror to check out the growth of my tummy. however, on this day i noticed that it looked different. at the time, i couldnt make sense of it. i was fine throughout the whole day.

On Wednesday, June 14th, i received a package from Singapore that i was eagerly waiting for. it contained a milk bottle that i bought online. it was a joyous moment as that was actually my first online purchase for baby stuff. however, on that day as well i noticed a very light brown spotting when i went to the toilet. yes, i was panicked but i thought it could be old blood discharging.

at school the next day, i noticed a very very tiny drop of fresh red blood when i went to the toilet. that time i became really panicked, grabbed my bag and went off to the clinic. i called Adi to inform him what was happening. i didnt have to wait long when my turn came. as usual, Dr. Azian was beaming to see me "Hi Teacher, how's everything?" (she was obviously referring to my dreadful morning sickness). we chatted for a little while, she was looking at my book checking the age of my pregnancy and all the regulars. i explained about the blood stain and she quickly did the scan.

"Suriana, i am sorry to tell you this but your baby's heartbeat has stopped."

at that very moment, i remember looking at Dr. Azian's eyes wanting to believe that was a lie. i was desperate to hear about strong heartbeats, to see the stretches or somersaults or forward rolls. I WAS DESPERATE.

Allah swt knows exactly how i felt at that very moment.
i did not shed a single tear..

.come to me.

2011-07-01T16:02:00.002+08:00

Dr.Martens 1460 Boot

i promise i'd wear you with anything.

With love,
Suya Aminuddin

.defining myself.

2011-06-07T23:00:00.003+08:00

the weekend was awesome! we attended the wedding of Pijat and Shahran in Dungun - it was a beautiful wedding. we are extremely happy for both of you ;)

i felt much better during the weekend. no feeling queasy, no vomiting, less tired and very joyful :)

on our way back to Kuantan from Dungun, we went to Mesra Mall because i wanted to check out some baby stuffs at toys r us since the one in Kuantan do not sell baby stuffs. also to just chill and rest at their starbucks coffee. travelling is exhausting and with too many cars on the road because there were too many weddings here and there plus school holiday vacations, the traffic to Kuantan was very slow.

we met up with Dira and Wafi. it had been a while we hadn't seen them so we quickly took the chance on that day! it was great and lasted for hours. we were supposed to be in Kuantan by 4pm because dear hubby was supposed to work but lucky he didnt get any calls. we finally departed to Kuantan around 9pm! cant believe we actually spent 7 hours at the mall!

give me a minute, it's Bon Jovi singing Always on MTV!!

this post is actually taking me hours to write. i actually stopped after the first paragraph to cook fried rice (at 1.15 in the morning!) i was really hungry and dear hubby is at work and will only be back home around 2.30am. so while waiting, i decided to write, eat and watch tv.

as for myself, im enjoying being pregnant. i have gained a kilo or two. it's not consistent at all though i have been eating A LOT. i had a major headache yesterday, the migraine kind of headache and was disrupting my sleep. and this morning, i vomited twice which really spoiled my morning mood because i thought all the nonsense morning sickness is going away since i've kissed the first trimester goodbye. but yes, like some people are saying, some times it lasts longer than we expected. honestly, im feeling much better compared to before. i've been doing house chores, been combing my hair, been looking at the mirror frequently, been singing (trust me it's really bad you dont wanna know), been wanting to put some make up when going out, been kissing dear hubby more than during the first trimester ;)and more.

today, my gestational age is thirteen weeks and two days. it says on the iphone app WHAT TO EXPECT.com that the baby is as big as a lemon! how cute. i might buy a lemon tomorrow, holding it in my hand and imagining Poppet in my tummy!

i cant believe ive come this far. at most times, i will lie on my back and hold my tummy and think about the future. if dear hubby is around, we will both lie on our backs or cuddle with each other and talk about things. about the ups and downs of everything in life, about our plans and hopes and dreams. it is one of our beautiful moments.

i love my relationship with him. it is full of love and surprises, relaxing and yet some times adventurous. i'd proudly say he's my soul mate, my everything.

i feel truly blessed. Alhamdullillah.

.baby thing.

2011-06-02T22:39:00.002+08:00

it has been a while since i last went to the beach. i miss everything about it - the sand, the waves, the sea breeze, the sounds, the people, the view.. everything! our house is so near to the beach yet it seems impossible to go due to my condition. oh well, i might go during the weekend. who knows i might feel a bit better, insyaAllah ;) the beach makes me calm and relaxed and i'd like little poppet in the tummy to feel what i feel. dont worry poppet, mummy will share everything with you.

anyway, i have been having troubles with sleeping these couple of days and according to my readings, it's normal to have sleeping problems during pregnancy. apart from having to do bathroom trips every now and then, i have been having weird dreams like last night, (in my dream) i was panicking in a baby shop because there were so many baby stuffs to buy! i woke up this morning thinking hard about it and finally realized that i was looking at a baby budget list before i went to bed! Adi laughed when i told him about it.

i have been experiencing a lot of changes in many ways. my choices of food have become a bit funny. it is so obvious that my taste buds have changed so much and western food is more of preference right now. and no thai food at all! not even the smell. sometimes just looking at the restaurants make me vomit! right there in the car! in the plastic bag of course. i always make sure that i have a box of plastic bags in the car and 5 pieces of them in my handbag. the smell of freshly cut grass also annoys me and could make me vomit the whole day so right now the grass in our garden is becoming a mini forest. oh dear!

dear hubby is excited about becoming a daddy though he obviously is confused with the changes in me especially the smell part because i avoid to be with him after he comes back from work. sorry honey, i just cant tolerate with it :(
and he doesnt get it that i always say some food smell funny. we really need to go for that antenatal class. i bet there are a lot of things to learn about the whole pregnancy thing and labour and becoming parents. anyway, talking about him being excited, he actually bought a playpen last month from toysrus. i know it's wayyyyy too early but he said 'it was on 50% discount!' okay then, i surrender. and he also mentioned about wanting to buy a stroller because he saw one and he likes it so much that everytime we go to parkson, he'll definitely go have a look at it, touch it and i bet he must be imagining pushing the stroller with little poppet in it. however, im keeping an eye on that because i just thought it's too soon to buy one. just not yet.

okay, i feel like having a cuddle right now. stopping but will definitely continue with more in the next entry.

.tears and joy.

2011-06-01T18:41:00.002+08:00

too many things have been happening to me in the last couple of weeks. one day at school i vomited like more than eight times and resulted to real starvation and dehydration. i went home feeling dreadful and hopeless, sitting on the couch in the living hall crying like a mad woman- coming to think of it again, i have no idea why i reacted in such manner! dear hubby was next to me trying hard to calm me down, talking about going to the hospital and such but i didnt feel like moving at all. all i did was crying again and again til i thought my body refused to produce any tears at all.

i called my parents, not able to properly talk because of too much crying, they got panicked thinking something bad must have happened to me. then i said to them to come to Kuantan because i wanted to have them around. i needed them so badly at the time and the moment they said yes they're coming to see me, i immediately stopped crying and felt a little bit better. then a cousin arrived from KT with my favourite kue tiaw goreng from my grandfather's food stall (he came to attend a job interview in Kuantan). i was grateful and happy like a toddler being given a candy!

so then, about an hour to midnight my parents and my brother arrived! the truth is, i was delighted! i was beaming and it was really showing that dear hubby said i looked totally fine! how funny!

the next day i got sick again so i went to see the doctor and he said that i will have to be admitted to the hospital for iv drip. my body was really dehydrating you could see from my skin, especially my face! how awful :(

unfortunately that iv drip thing was unsuccessful so i was forced to drink water manually. i loved the hospital stay though i got bored after about twelve hours.
i ended staying at the hospital for just one night. couldnt wait to get back home!

mama and papa were around that week. i was extremely happy. the food, the talks, the hang outs, the shopping.. everything!! i totally miss them now :(

okay dah malas to continue writing. will write more, i promise. maybe some time later.

.talking about names.

2011-05-20T23:46:00.001+08:00

is it too soon to think of the name? Because we're kinda excited ;)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.happiness tears.

2011-05-17T12:15:00.004+08:00

at this very moment i am writing, i am actually crying out of happiness for Nana and Iwan.

saw Nana's picture with her baby in her arms really gets me emotional, thanks to the hormones.

Dearest Nana & Iwan,

Congratulations on your newborn Muhammad Iman Faris.

He's so adorable and sweet.

I cant wait to see you guys, InsyaAllah.

Take a good care of yourself Mommy Nana ;)

xxxx

.becoming a mother.

2011-05-15T22:50:00.002+08:00

I am not yet a mother but at nine weeks five days pregnancy, i truly understand the sacrifices a mother would do for her child.

I have been vomitting so much today i actually lost count of it. The anti-vomit pills are not working for me. I am exhausted, my body is aching, i dont feel comfortable at all. Im so not at my best. I feel so sick.

Mencabar ye rupanya mengandungkan anak ni.. And Mama said her condition was even worse when she was carrying me. Her morning sickness only ended when she reached 8 months pregnancy.

Ya Allah, aku mohon padaMu, give me strength to go through this. Sesungguhnya Engkau maha Mengetahui dan Mengasihi. Aminn..

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.of mee hoon goreng, keropok goreng & cili kicap.

2011-05-09T19:52:00.001+08:00

Terima kasih suami, for being there through my ups and downs.

Terima kasih for the super delicious mee hoon goreng, keropok goreng and cili kicap. There're totally perfect.

You surprised me today with your effort to prepare dinner instead of going out or as usual, getting bungkus meals for me..

You're the best and i know you'll always be.

I love you hubs, so much.

I thank Allah swt everyday for everything i have in my life.

p/s: im sooo over the moon tonight ;)

Esok masak asam pedas plak bleh?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.i will see you.

2011-05-07T17:41:00.002+08:00

Pregnancy Quotes

.you mean the whole world to me.

2011-05-07T15:45:00.001+08:00

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.an order from the boss.

2011-05-05T15:58:00.002+08:00

the boss called.

"Hi Suriana, how are you feeling today?, hey listen, it's okay about not coming to school tomorrow, i got things sorted out already. not that we dont want you back, we do want you back but just have the three days rest and come back fresh on monday, ya?"

there you go!

voted the best thing that ever happened in my life today.

.the milestone.

2011-05-05T11:19:00.002+08:00

i really need an inspiration to write. desperately need an inspiration ;)

oh well, let's just start.

today is officially eight weeks and two days. went to see the doctor yesterday and saw our baby. very tiny but the doctor said the heartbeat shows that he/she is healthy.

as for me, well, along the way, i've experienced a lot of changes. i first knew about my pregnancy when it was just about four weeks. very very early so a lot of things were on my mind like miscarriage, financial stability, baby preparations, and question like if we're ready to be parents and many more. anyway, i ate a lot at the time, like A LOT! and i always fell asleep while watching tv after school - i dont always eat that much and i dont do day nap. so itu sangat rare!

i guess those were the early signs that made me opted to do the home pregnancy test.

my heart was leaping high when there was a faint line. i knew it is possible to have fake negatives but it's impossible to have fake positives. so, doa and tawakal to Allah swt je at the time.

then at five weeks, i started to have spotting. i became really worried. plus, the doctor said it could also be a sign of miscarriage. okay, aku redha but i never give up praying for the best from Allah swt. i had a good rest for a week since it was easter school holiday and Alhamdullillah the bleeding stopped.

at six weeks, i had the worst diarrhea in my life. not to forget the vomiting and loss of appetite. i lost 2kgs. went to the doctor, had a scan, went home with a big smile on my face.

at seven weeks, i had the spotting again for a couple of days. i didnt go to the doctor this time. i thought let's just wait and see. still, didnt eat much because i vomited everyday. and at this week that i noticed, i couldnt smell thai food at all except for tom yam. oh well, my doctor friend said "baguslah you ada alahan!" towards the end of week seven and beginning of week eight, i couldnt go to school for three days because of extreme exhaustion and nausea.

and yes, that's why im blogging today. im still on medical leave and there's nothing much i could do at home.

im so going to school tomorrow though it's the last day of the week. i miss work!

.unwell.

2011-04-26T20:47:00.001+08:00

I have not been well for the past 2 weeks. Everything seems so messy. Vomitting, diarrhea, exhaustion, nausea, appetite loss.

I lost 2kgs in two weeks!

Well at least no diarrhea this week which is good.. Alhamdullillah.

Adi has been craving for ice-cream like everyday. Im worried if he's going to gain weight. No, im not letting that to happen. He has to play football every week ;) good thing he's into it.

It's 8.45pm. Im tired and sleepy already. Honestly i feel like a grandma but i dont have a choice dont i?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.for what i am with you.

2011-04-22T13:56:00.000+08:00

.i thought this would be fun.

2011-04-22T13:28:00.001+08:00

.satu-satunya terbaik untukku.

2011-04-20T11:01:00.001+08:00

me : Will you still love me tomorrow?

him: Tomorrow? I love u smpai bila2. ;-)

*tak sabar nak balek jumpa dia!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

. jauh lagi.

2011-04-17T08:21:00.001+08:00

berjauhan dengan suami is not something i could sensibly manage.

i miss you already :(

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.make it a dream come true.

2011-04-10T21:29:00.004+08:00

I'd like this for my birthday.

Camper

Style Number: 53301
Size: 91 mm | 3 1/2 inch

PRODUCT DETAILS

Large blade

Small blade

Can opener with small screwdriver

Bottle opener with large screwdriver & wire stripper

Wood saw

Reamer with sewing eye

Corkscrew

Toothpick

Tweezers

Key ring

Life time warranty

the changes in me

2011-04-04T21:49:00.001+08:00

i am experiencing new changes in me,
i am looking at beautiful tomorrows,
i am hoping that it is going to be a smooth sailing,
i am all about smiles,
Alhamdullillah

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.unsure.

2011-03-28T21:05:00.001+08:00

it was a faint line.

it is unsure.

i shall wait.

i have been tagged by Ushna!

2011-03-28T20:43:00.009+08:00

Do you sing in the shower?No.i suck at singing. ceiling boleh runtuh ok.
What song?N/A
Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes, that was how i first fell in love with my husband, Adi.
What was the name of your first pet? Dude (a pet rabbit)
What is the last movie that you saw at the cinema? Rango. twice. both during baby-sitting. didnt get to finish both because Isi fell asleep once the movie started, woke up 45 mins later and cried. the second one, all 4 of us Adi, Alyson, Kasey and I fell asleep. we were really tired.
Are you a morning person or a night owl? Morning. I always make sure I go to bed about 9.30pm.
If you could go anywhere in the world for a vacation, where would you go? Africa, Spain & Greece
Do you always wear a seatbelt? YES. all the time.
What is your ringtone? You, Me & the Burgeoisie by The Submarines
What curse word do you use the most? demmit! (is that considered as cursing?)
Flip flops or sneakers? both.
What color is your room? light blue and white.
How many hours of sleep do you need to function?eight hours the least.
Are you picky about spelling and grammar? Yes, I am.
Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back? on my side.
What is your favorite TV show? Castle at the moment.
What is the weather like? Raining.
Are you shy around the opposite sex? Depending on who and how well i know them.
How often do you remember your dreams? Most of the time.
Do you think people talk about you behind your back? I bet they do. I don't mind and I don't care.

I am tagging:

Hana

Dana

Jet

Farah

Pijat

.Book Week.

2011-03-19T08:36:00.003+08:00

it was Book Week last week and it went fantastically well! the children at school were really into it and worked hard to make the best of it. and not forgetting the teachers' efforts as well.

Yesterday (Friday) was the last day of Book Week. we had a costume parade where teachers and students dressed up as any of the characters in the books ;)

i turned up as Red Riding Hood. i've always loved the classics. it amazes me that there are some people who are not familiar of the traditional tales. they make wonderful bedtime stories.

so, i had to actually make the red cape with hood by myself because it would be ridiculous to find a tailor to do one. i was clueless at first but got the ideas after looking at some websites on how to make a cape. took me about 2 hours to finish it but turned out quite good. i was in fact impressed by myself. all hand sewn because there's something wrong with the sewing machine or might as well i say, i have no idea how to use it.

once it was finished, i wore it at home, feeling like a real Red Riding Hood and loving it ;) it was not really a neat work though because at a point i couldnt be bothered anymore due to electricity cut off in the neighbourhood for 5 hours. i had to use candles as it was getting dark. tiba tiba rasa macam orang dulu dulu umah takde elektrik guna lilin or pelita =p

and now that i've known how to make one, i thought of making one for Nawal but mama Nawal has to read the book to her first! ;)

so yesterday, with the red cape on, i read the story Huge Red Riding Hood by Dick King-Smith to the children instead of Little Red Riding Hood. a totally different version but we loved it!!

i do not have the photos now but will upload some time later.

anyway, we had Popeye and Olive, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Prince of Narnia, Kipper from Biff and Chip stories, Cinderella, Mr Grumpy, Elmer, Matilda, Sleeping Beauty, Belle, Little Miss Messy, The BFG, The Three Bears and many more at school yesterday!

Enjoy reading people!

xxx

.the love of my life.

2011-03-15T21:34:00.003+08:00

sweet love husband is not at his best these days. things that are happening at his workplace (especially) are really affecting him mentally and physically.

he had slight fever last night which got me really worried because he is rarely sick and the fact that he looks really fragile whenever he is sick, is tearing me apart. i am trying my best to make him feel much better and to look at things positively.

he's worried or i'd say concerned about so many things thus is making him to think a lot and not getting proper and enough sleep. he lost his appetites. he hasnt eaten much (if i compare to before), he's been quiet and always have the looks on his face that's making ME worried.

he's sad that his closest pal at work will be resigning soon due to getting a very good offer from another company.

he's all stressed out due to ridiculous workload that he has to handle alone on his own. and now, even the working hours are changing without prior notice. in other words, he's on call 24/7!

he's VERY tired.

poor sweetheart =)

i feel really bad about what's happening but i am always praying and hoping that everything will be at its best for him. insyaAllah.

*i love you Adi, and i promise you i'll be there for you both at your best and your worst

.the trip and the weekend.

2011-03-11T16:41:00.002+08:00

yesterday was a really tiring but a worthwhile day. we had so much fun watching Elmer the patchwork elephant from Blunderbus Theatre Company at PJ Live Arts, KL. the children couldnt stop talking about it. and the trip on the LRT was great as well. a new experience for some of them i bet.

cant believe they behaved so well. and the pit stop at the R&R Genting Sempah was really funny because they only have squatting toilets and Julie and I had to hold them while they squat to use the loo. another new experience of living in Malaysia eh? and a new experience for me too for having to hold them and supplying the toilet rolls! they were really awkward but the best thing was nobody ever complained on that!! we teachers were really proud of them. maybe we'll go watch another show next time ya?

and today's been well though i'm having the temperature and been coughing a lot this couple of days and the weather's a bit funny. it's pouring and the wind is raging. im home alone at the moment so it's quite scary. even Coco was panicking earlier but soon she saw me, she's relaxed a bit. and now termenung jauh thinking of the future i guess.

im really hoping the fever and coughing will go away ASAP and also for the weather to be better this weekend. i really need the sun, the sea and the beach.

.tomorrow's fun.

2011-03-09T22:04:00.004+08:00

i see you tomorrow Elmer!

.awesome Sunday.

2011-03-08T21:05:00.005+08:00

last Sunday was wickedly awesome.

we cycled about 15km.

went to the beach.

met some friends.

learned to surf.

swam in the sea.

got tanned. haha.

barbecue at Julie's.

talked, laughed.

relaxing, enjoying.

wickedly awesome!

.the next three days.

2011-02-27T23:17:00.007+08:00

last couple of weeks, a friend at work recommended 'the next three days' to me.

so i went to the mall and bought the dvd because i cant be bothered to download any movies at the moment due to very poor connection of the internet at home. yes, it sucks big time when you're in the middle of working hard on something and it requires you to have the connection and bam! at that very moment, the screen shows 'the server may be down or whatever, whatever, whatever.'

it really gets on my nerves. really.

alright, so, i didnt just buy 'the next three days' but also bought 'the king's speech' and '127 hours'.

today, after cleaning up the kitchen and did the heaps of laundry (i do laundry once a week and only on the weekends - i have no idea why once a week. maybe i like it when Adi my dear husband pops up with the question 'mana ek boxers saya banyok banyok?')

right, so i really wanted to have plenty of rest today lazing around, eating snacks and watch a movie. after very much of consideration, i decided to watch 'the next three days'.

so through out the movie, i was really restless. wept tears. smiled and as it goes towards the end, no, not quite sure if it's near the end of the story or what when the screen of the tv turned grey. and silent.

i was like 'what just happened?'

didnt take long for me to realize the dvd is a piece of rubbish. NOT the movie, but the dvd itself. i went to the kitchen to grab more food. sorry but madness makes me hungry. finished my lunch. took a 10 mins nap.

Not long after that Adi came home from his classes. we went to the mall to change the dvd and to get more milk.

unfortunately, the same thing happened to the new dvd. dang!

i guess i will have to download the movie then.

anyway, though i havent finished watching, i highly recommend this movie. it is superb!

p/s: i was meant to post this piece last week but somehow i most probably lost my mind at the moment and saved it to drafts. whatever~

.moving on.

2011-02-09T23:07:00.001+08:00

so Julie's got the job in Tanzania as Head of Foundation Stage. She's excited in so many ways but unfortunately, i am not :(

I know, i should be happy for her.. Yes i do, i am happy for her. It's just that knowing the fact that i will no longer be working with someone so inspiring in so many ways.. is despairing.

I enjoy working with her despite all the workload that's tearing me down almost everyday and her being very fussy and particular about things. All that dont matter to me because we want the best for the children.

Julie has taught me a lot, not just about school matters but also about life. We've shared stories, experiences, ideas and thoughts. It's a shame to not be working with her anymore. I am so not ready for this. Really. Ive never thought i'd feel this way about her leaving. Honestly, it's never enough because everyday is always a new chapter with brand new ideas and ways of teaching and learning.

From the bottom of my heart, i will miss you Julie.

You're the best!
xxx

*julie & her son, isaac
(CNY celebration @ GISKtn)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.busy bee.

2011-01-21T23:32:00.002+08:00

the past two weeks were ridiculously busy. and right now, i do want to update, i do. really. but at the moment Jodi Picoult's The Pact is being so tempting i hardly resist.

;)

.cerita gigi.

2011-01-04T22:02:00.005+08:00

well first day of school was not bad at all though i was extremely tired and sleepy most of the time. i'm blaming on the lack of sleep i had last night. tu lah sape suruh tido lambat! iskk... and as expected, yes, there were heaps of things to do today and having more things to do for the coming days. i have to really discipline myself on taking supplements regularly to keep me fit and strong. and enough sleep and rest and water! pheeww!

i noticed that i have been really disorganised and forgetful these days. and sangat malas to do the lesson plans. should include 'being more organised' as one of the year 2011 resolutions. haha. and what exactly are the other resolutions that i have made? i do not even remember one!!

what's funny today was i realized that most year twos students are missing a tooth especially one of the two front ones! hahaha.. they're so cute. i even heard Kasey said to Evie that she looks like a pirate! (Evie had her tooth wobbly this morning and was crying so loud that her mum, one of the teacher at school could hear from upstairs quickly came, went to her and pulled the tooth out!) - yeah, i saw that bit and it WAS scary for me! but i'm pretty sure it did not hurt at all because the new tooth's already coming out, we could see it. she stopped crying then and asked her mum to keep the tooth in her pocket ;)

last time when i was very much younger, my mum was the brilliant dentist at home! she pulled out most of my wobbly teeth by herself which i bet it was not difficult at all. i dont remember crying out loud or running away in madness whenever she wanted to pull out any of the wobbly teeth. she's very particular with teeth that i always thought she should be a dentist! anyway, i have always loved going to the dentist and will be so proud of myself every time the dear dentist said it's an A. (muka berlagak gila every time kuar bilik dentist pastu mesti nak show off kad klinik gigi tu.) and every time the people from the dental clinics came to school, i would be among the first ones to go have my teeth checked!

but nowadays are a different story. dental clinics are not a fvourite place to go now. memang lah kan sebab the environment pun dah bosan with all the boring advertisements on dental and oral care. and not to forget the best toothbrush or toothpaste ever. and plus it does seem really scary especially when i need to do teeth scaling. eeeuuuww!! gile ngilu! yes, sangat ngilu sampai tak leh tahan misti nak suruh the dentist stop most of the time. isk..

right, i'm stopping here so i can go brush my teeth and go to bed. i need enough sleep for tomorrow.

selamat malam. mimpi manis.

suya dan gigi

.term two begins.

2011-01-04T01:30:00.005+08:00

school starts tomorrow.

im expecting everything from fun, heaps of work, stress, running up and down the stairs, singing, jumping, meetings, cups of tea, shouting, praising, more rewards and stickers and a whole lot of everything.

school starts tomorrow.

i better go to sleep.

kids counting using fat drinking straws

.welcome twenty eleven.

2010-12-31T23:21:00.003+08:00

Good bye twenty ten. I will always remember you.

and Welcome twenty eleven..

give me lots of surprises (good ones please) and joy ;)

xoxo

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.Kamu Terbaik!.

2010-12-30T00:36:00.002+08:00

a definitely great night for Malaysians.

Congratulations Harimau Malaya, YOU'RE THE BEST!

Love from,
us.. the proud Malaysian fans.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.this and that.

2010-12-29T10:42:00.006+08:00

term two is starting soon and i am so not ready for school yet. the past couple of weeks of holidays were really agonizing due to heaps of assignments and travelling to KL every weekend. i am dreadfully exhausted and in desperate need to enjoy the remaining holidays. but, knowing that i need to make lots of preparations before school starts, is ripping off the dreams.

i woke up this morning thinking of going to school maybe some time today to get started with some stuffs and go to town to do a little bit of grocery shopping, getting some fresh flowers for the dining table - carnations maybe ;) and off to Kamdar for fabrics. the weather is really wet with no signs of sunshine at all. perhaps reading and lazing on the bed are the best options now. hahaha. oh dear, reality bites!

photo: google images

anyway, a friend is getting married soon in January, congratulations Nadzmi. yes, your mom sms-ed me this morning to ask for my address. I am extremely happy for you. semoga semuanya berjalan dengan lancar and insyaAllah, Adi and I will attend your wedding ;)

oh, and tonight is the night we've been waiting for. Let's hope and pray for the best of our Malaysian Team. GO HARIMAU MALAYA!!! (seriously, agak nervous for tonight's match)

xxx

.just us.

2010-12-28T01:11:00.003+08:00

us at the BJNS for AFF Suzuki Cup Final

Malaysia VS Indonesia

p/s: thank you little sister for the photo. I'm lovin' it.

.for the love of the country.

2010-12-28T00:25:00.005+08:00

there were jugglers,

there were afros and glam-rock style,

there were skinheads and punks,

there were hot babes,

there were sportsmen,

there were Malays, Chinese and Indians,

there were Malaysians,

there were Mat Salehs and other foreigners as well,

there was even Jimmy Shanley,

there were moms and dads,

there were grandmas and grand-dads,

there were parents-to-be,

there were fanatic fans and half- naked fans,

there were just fans,

there were lone-rangers and friends,

there were couples and families,

there were kids and babies,

there were less-interested-in-football girlfriends,

who were busy facebook-ing all the time,

there were yellows and blues,

there were flags everywhere,

there was everyone from everywhere,

they all came with a mission,

and they will never give up,

they proudly sang the National Anthem, the whole world could hear,

they shouted, screamed, cried, laughed, jumped, high-five(d), clapped, waved, swore, compliments, prayed...

the best they could,

for the love of the country.

no matter who, they UNITE.

for the love of the country.

they are proud Malaysians.

I am proud of you Malaysia.

and I'd like to say WELL DONE!

p/s: play well in the next game ;)

we are there for you

.tiger love.

2010-12-23T11:33:00.002+08:00

Once upon a time in the year two thousand and seven (or maybe two thousand and six?) at The Lost World of Tambun, Ipoh, Perak.

and now Jess has grown up well. Thank you so much dearest Hana for the photo. It is brilliant!

FYI: We have less than 500 tigers in the wild and obviously our Malayan tiger may soon be gone forever (source: www.tx2.my, 2010).

SAVE THE TIGERS, SAVE THE EARTH.

.dreams do come true.

2010-12-22T15:12:00.002+08:00

Coco is sick. she's having cold and has been coughing and sneezing a lot. we brought her to the vet yesterday and Alhamdullillah the vet said it is not serious but just a normal fever. we're glad to hear that but it breaks my heart to look at her now because she's lost weight and coughing and sneezing most of the time. i hope she gets well soon since she's been taking medicine- antibiotics, cough syrup, vitamin c and syrup to prevent eye infections. oh, yes, she hates the antibiotics. really. and we've been force feeding her cat food that promotes quick healing because she refuses to eat. most probably she's lost her appetite. poor baby =( she's really fragile now.

anyway, my life has been really busy with lots and lots of articles to read for my project paper and keeping up with house chores and stuffs. good thing it is school holiday now so i can take my mind off work for a while. i envy those who are really enjoying their holidays to the max! i wish i could do the same. i really want to spend my time doing all the crafts stuffs. i've been collecting a lot of materials and books and manuals and having a lot of things on my mind. and the most important thing is to set up the other room for my work station where i can work on the computer and study and craft works, sewing station to start with quilting activities and making long skirts for myself =) a mini library for all the books to settle in and kids' station so they'll have something to do when i babysit them at home.

these will happen soon. i know. insyaAllah. can't hardly wait!

.I already knew boys were from a different planet.

2010-12-15T11:05:00.005+08:00

She's a wave and she is breaking

She's a problem to solve

and in that circle she's making

I will always revolve

And on her sight

These eyes

depend

Invisible and Indivisible

(Ultraviolet - Stiff Dylans)

watched it again on HBO this morning. can't believe i chose to abandon my research proposal work that is due this Friday for this movie. oh well, i needed a break. a worth one.

the movie's awesome and a must watch. no matter how many times you've watched it. i even shed tears. there are a couple of scenes that touched my heart and loads that made me laughed my heart out. my neighbours must have thought there's a mad woman in the neighbourhood. haha!

no, i'm not going to talk about the movie, what more to copy and paste the synopsis. GO FIGURE and ENJOY!

.Buang Sampah Di Dalam Tong Sampah yang Disediakan.

2010-12-11T07:37:00.003+08:00

"Malaysia is the ugliest country in Asia. the people have no pride and joy of their country" (an anonymous visitor who has lived in Malaysia for 8 years, 2010) told me one evening.

there you go. that was a really big bang on my head!

and i said, "why would you think so?'"

"they throw and dump rubbish everywhere. out of the car windows, in front of their houses, on the beach, bla bla bla..everywhere!"

i couldn't agree more, so i wasn't crossed. sometimes you just need an opinion from a different perspective.

so think about it and act now! start educating the people about the country's cleanliness.

be RESPONSIBLE of your country.

.it's the beach thing.

2010-12-08T00:20:00.005+08:00

Because I grew up near the beach.

I camped, fished, swam, ate ice-creams, collected seashells, wrote on the sand, built sandcastles, made sand turtles, built small shacks without roof out of sticks and junks found on the beach and played mom and dad with my brother and sister, ran and ran and ran, been buried in the sand or buried others in the sand, played ‘galah panjang’ with friends and families, lots of picnics, played hopscotch, climbed on trees, watched the fishermen on their boats as they were passing by and waved to them, listened to the sound of the waves, screamed my lungs out to the sea, shared my ups and downs with the sea, caught crabs, admired the eagles flying high in the sky, watched the waves transformed as seasons changed, smelled the air, tasted the sea, felt the sand, laid on the sand and watched the night sky glittered with stars or sometimes just complete darkness, and gosh, the beach was the best playground back then!

And I would say yes, it was a perfect place to go for a date during my secondary school years too =)

(well, considering the limited options we had in Kertih back then)

plus, some time, long ago, Adi and I met at a playground near a beach. Pantai Batu Burok to be exact.

Now, married, we live near the beach. And being with someone who loves the beach as much as I do is just the thing.

and we never stop dreaming to live in a nice wooden house with a huge garden near the beach. maybe on the hilly side where the grass is green and coconut trees around and the view is breathtaking.

we would sit on a 'pangkin' looking at the sea, and talk and

smell the salty air and cherish the beautiful moment.

*Pantai Batu Hitam, Kuantan~ where we live now.

.to ponder upon.

2010-12-07T23:43:00.000+08:00

Do not look down upon any Muslim, for even the most inferior believer is great in the eyes of God. (Abu Bakar)

.babysitting anyone?.

2010-12-05T00:10:00.001+08:00

We're wrecked! Tonight's babysitting job was exhausting. We had Aly, Kasey and Evie altogether. Adi and i brought them to the mall to watch Rapunzel. The movie's fantastic! And Rapunzel is stunningly beautiful! Well, obviously the girls loved it but not Kasey. He talked a lot during the movie and lost focus. He even farted like 8 times!! And laughed out loud everytime he did it.

We went for a lil bit of shopping after that and then Pizza Hut for dinner. We also went to the video games arcade and had a jolly good time there!
I wanted to bring them for a night walk at TC Beach but it's raining so i decided to just send them back home.

xxx

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.some thoughts.

2010-12-04T02:18:00.002+08:00

all i could think about at the moment are school workload and managing self-financials . such thoughts to be having at exactly 2.20am. i decided to write but now i seem to lose focus.

okay, i will write. let's start with what happened today.

it was Christmas celebration day at the school today. obviously i wasnt celebrating as there were lots of preparations and work to do at the classroom and of course it didnt bother me at all because i do not celebrate Christmas. the children had lots of fun though. Santa Clause came on his sleigh with lots of Christmas stories but unfortunately he had no pressies!! haha.. the children enjoyed the stories though. i heard them singing songs while i was upstairs checking homework and sticking new homework in their books. what a lousy thing to do while others are having fun!

well, work is really wearing me out. each and everyday is all about managing and training the children - "Olivia, put your hat on!", "Thu Ta, keep your hands to yourself!", "Ashank, flush the toilet!", "Khue, turn off the tap!", "Ben, please be sensible.", "Mustafa, stop crashing the cars!", "Nabeeha, hurry up!", "Butterflies, put your hats in the basket, change your shoes, get your water bottle, line up in front of me- one sensible straight line and drink your water!"

these are my common everyday phrases. sometimes i just cannot believe i am doing this. this i mean is being with the key stage one children.

i know i shouldn't complain. no, i am not complaining.

there is one more week left till school holidays. some of them are going back to their hometown to celebrate Christmas and some are celebrating here in Kuantan. and the Muslims or other religions will just enjoy the holidays. and i will be preparing myself and stuffs for next term. i highly hope that things will be much easier next term. they said it should be easier (they - referring to other teachers at school) alright then, let's hope for the best.

apart from that, i dont really have plans for the holidays. we're not going on a vacation anywhere because spending time together at home is even better. i might tidy up the house. it has been a while i haven't done spring cleaning. i really should do that. might also do babysitting jobs, thinking of attending kelas mengaji Al-Quran at the mosque and maybe will try a bit of sewing. it should be fun. oh, and some artsy craftsy work!! well, i hope these all will work or else i will just be wasting my time during the hols =p

insyaAllah ;)

til then. good night.

xxx

.Hello December.

2010-12-01T22:32:00.004+08:00

the past eleven months was such an amazing journey in my life. there were lots of ups and downs but through it all, i am now better and stronger. Alhamdullillah.

honestly, being a wife is no way an easy job. being a Key Stage One Teacher in an international school is even more difficult especially when you do not have any experience. and moving from teaching adults to little kids can really drain you out. never in my life coming back from work thinking about having a long nap right away. well, it is not happening anymore now but i used to come back from work looking forward to having the sweetest nap ever.

it has been nine months at the school and three and a half months with key stage one (i was with key stage two the first few months working at the school) it is a HUGE different!

with key stage two particularly with year 3 & 4 (combined classes), it is more relaxing, more of assisting the EAL children and very much easier to manage.

key stage one children makes me run, shout, run, shout, more rewards, more stickers, more toilet trainings, more spoon feeding during snack time and lunch time, more mess, more paints on me, more phonics, more dancing, more singing which i am truly bad at it - lucky they are only small children, more creativity, more energy, more work, more work, more work. pheww!

on top of these, i learn new things a lot, everyday. especially about children. and to see their development in any aspect say physical, mental and academic is even more rewarding. it is an opportunity you do not want to miss. the biggest challenge is to try to think like them and not having high expectations on them!

a photo of the whole school -the trip to Pahang State Mosque - Hari Raya Celebration

see what i mean with more work? look at them- restless.

.will try to write more.

2010-11-25T18:58:00.001+08:00

It has been a while. I miss writing here like i used to but couldnt get into the mood to do so. I will start to write again since now i own an iphone ;) and i can blog anytime or anywhere that i want. Isnt this interesting. Hopefully it motivates me to blog more often. And the ipod touch was automatically bertukar hakmilik to Adi. He loves it and im happy that he does. Or else rasa macam membazir to get this iphone.

Well, things have been super great with life, work, marriage etc and insyaAllah hopefully things will be even better.

We just celebrated our first anniversary last Saturday. Three hundred and sixty five days of lots of love and joy and couldnt ask for more. we're so in love and contented. He's totally amazing!

XOXO

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

.Cinta Yang Fana.

2010-06-23T17:38:00.003+08:00

i remember the good ol' days when i was so into this novel - Budak Setan. there were series of it before it became Lagenda Budak Setan. i have loved it before and that remains the same until now. unfortunately, i lost my book when we moved to KL. i have read the book about 83 times (as far as i remember) as the story has never failed to touch my heart. i have always been in love with it.

and so the other day, Adi brought me to watch the movie after we watched the trailer a couple of times. i was damn excited. the trailer was awesome. i was having so many expectations.

but the movie frustrates me. i guess maybe i expected more of it as in more expressions and emotions like in the book. i hate the fact that Farid Kamil has to be Kasyah because he does not resemble Kasyah at all. maybe Que Haidar will make a perfect Kasyah. but he seems excellent at being Azmi. Lisa suits perfectly being Ayu but the girl who does Katrina sucks big time.

im being emotional here. read the book and you know it's way far more better than the movie.

i dont even feel like watching the movie again. but im thinking of finding my book or might as well get a new one.

p/s: during those old days when i was so much younger, Kasyah was like the kind of guy i wanted my boyfriend to be. like the kind of dream guy or something like that. haha. ngeeee...

.some updates.

2010-04-27T20:14:00.002+08:00

talking about my birthday, we didnt go to any fancy restaurants cause i dont fancy 'em. instead, we went to watch Clash of the Titans and had a nice dinner at Kenny Roger's. and Adi gave me the best birthday gift ever -a pair of start tortoises babies! i named them Poseidon and Medusa after the characters in the movie. i've wanted the tortoises since forever and now i have mine =)

thank you Dzul Azwardi Shah.

they're super cute (i will post the photos later). we let them roam in the living hall after work and they're extremely happy with that. it's obvious because they never stop crawling here and there.

and school's getting as good as it gets. we had chocolate making session at Hyatt Hotel the other day. it was a whole lotta fun. i made a lot of chocolate pralines for Adi. he was so happy that today, he brought some to the office to share with his colleagues. (oh, will post the photos later jugak)

we have swimming for P.E tomorrow. i just cant wait for that. it has been a year i havent gone swimming and now i have the opportunity to share my swimming knowledge with the school. i was told that i'll be given a group of students for this swimming class. let's see what's waiting for me tomorrow.

till then.

P/S:

Dana: best tadop dress code but at times mcm kelam kabut sbb dop tau nop paka menda. last last pakai baju kurung gop. hehehe.

Jet : tu la, bile nye nop jupe nih. weekend ni ah k.. oh adam..dop sabo!!

Hana: never knew BM is so hard to teach. hahaha.

.it's the new workplace.

2010-04-20T22:34:00.003+08:00

i have no idea how to start this entry. it has been a while. oh well.

so i have started working at Garden International School Kuantan. the first week was fine. since my second day of working was on my birthday, they had a small celebration at school for me. and the tiramisu was damn delicious.

since i am basically new to the British education system, the first few weeks they want me to observe what's going on around the school, the teachings, class management and i am currently assisting a class teacher for year 3 & 4. also, during English periods i have 5 children with me who are kinda weak at spellings, sentence structure and speaking English. 2 of them are from Iraq, 1 from Australia, 1 from Bangladesh and 1 from Canada. they're lovely and i've always enjoyed being with them.

on top of that, i am also a Bahasa teacher in this school. i teach Bahasa Melayu to all levels of learners from Year 1 to Year 8. this makes me know the whole school much better. overall, there are about 63 students and being in a small school like this, most things are kinda flexible. for example, there are no exact dress code. you can wear casually as long as you dont put on any denims. sometimes i go to school wearing flip flops!!

there are many things to tell but i'd rather be in front of the tv now.

.voted best conversation of the day.

2010-03-22T17:15:00.000+08:00

Suya

oooo ok cool

ure good u know

dats why i love u

and u sleep like sleeping beauty

5:11pmDzul

ish

dop aci tgk org tido

malu..

hehehe

5:11pmSuya

hehehehe

the best part of my mornings

is to look at u sleeping

and kiss you

and watch you again and again and again

5:11pmDzul

huwaaaaa... best nyeee..

5:12pmSuya

and i'll definitely tell u that i love u so much

even tho u cant hear me

it's ok, maybe ur soul hears

5:13pmDzul

tuyaaa... cayam kamu!!!

5:14pmSuya

cayam kamu jugop adi!!!

.all worn out.

2010-03-17T01:09:00.004+08:00

lookin at the blog again and again and tiba tiba feel like macam extremely serabut. maybe this dandelion background is not really suitable.

well, i'll do something about it tomorrow.

now is 10 past 1 in the morning.

should go to sleep now.

it's goin to be a VERY long day tomorrow.

...and class starts at 8am!!

it sucks. really.

i need more sleeeeeppppp!!!

.lovin' the dandelions.

2010-03-17T01:00:00.002+08:00

today i was thinking of changing to a new background. been searching and found this. fall in love with it right away. dandelions are super cute.

and this reminded me to one of the small students at GIS Kuantan who once made a remark~

"dandelions make small parachutes"

yes, they are darling. that's how they spread their seeds ;)

.dear minnie.

2010-03-10T16:51:00.003+08:00

i want to go too!!!

.give me a reason to be happy.

2010-03-10T15:17:00.003+08:00

the idea of living together as husband and wife is definitely every married couple's wish including me, the so-called-newly weds who's living separated with my husband since we got married. though it's only 2 hours far, the fact that we're not living in the same house everyday, not waking up in the morning to see each others' face, not able to cook, having to pay rentals to both houses, only seeing each other like twice a week, once during the weekend and once on weekdays which depends to subject availability which means if he does not have much work to do at the office, then it'd be possible for him to come to Dungun - and all these are surely not the best idea for me.

honestly, i envy other married couples who get to live together, sharing and enjoying every moment spent. so, for the last couple of months, i tried hard to find a decent job in Kuantan. to really settle down, living life the way i have always wanted. with hubster around ;)

and finally, it's a dream come true. yayy!! Garden International School Kuantan has offered me the 'dream job' as a teacher. and paying more than i currently gain now!

Alhamdullillah. what more can i say?

.i heart you.

2010-02-22T23:43:00.002+08:00

i sooooo want this and today mr. husband made it a dream come true.

thank you so much Adi.
i love you.

2010-02-10T19:55:00.002+08:00

p/s: simply produced when boredom struck.

.such a life.

2010-02-01T21:40:00.004+08:00

there is nothing really new with me these days. been doing the same routine day in and out.
have started to feel bored with this life and so in need of something new and exciting. i just cant wait for a miracle or such a magical moment to come and take me out of this boredom.

anyway, been listening to Lagwagon's songs over and over again today. tried to sing-a-long but the sound of my voice was choking me to death i decided to stay mute and only listen and enjoy the songs.

suddenly having the thoughts of being a punk rock poseur.

ces.

oh, and...welcome February 2010.

give me more luck ;)

.beautiful weekend.

2010-01-26T23:19:00.003+08:00

too many beautiful things happened last week.

since it has been some time we havent met some old friends so we decided to do a small gathering at One Utama. there were Kelong and his wife Amish, Acong and his girlfriend Kila and Apih with his fiance Zura. we had a wonderful time doing some shopping, watched 'The Legion' and makan makan and sharing stories. it was great which Amish and i think that we should do it more often.

anyway, Amish's tummy is getting obvious already since she is now four months pregnant. she glows, really. cant believe she is going to be a mother soon. walking down the memory lane, we used to be room mates once and had shared wonderful moments together during our years in UiTM section 17. there were ups and downs but i have always cherished those days in my life.

talking about the movie we watched - The Legion. i hardly believe i watched such movie. sangat songsang okay the movie. i am not going to elaborate on it as it might spoil my mood to write more. go watch and you will know what i mean.

oh, another Coach handbag just came into the collection during the weekend which made me cant stop smiling for days!!! finally.

and i went for the interview with Kolej Shahputra in Kuantan last monday. it was a smooth sailing and the head of department did mentioned that i am among the top three best candidates but still they have to look at every aspects thoroughly. and he also mentioned something like giving the opportunity to fresh graduates. ceh. '....at least you have a job and commuting from Kuantan to Dungun is not that far'. yeah right. anyway, it doesnt matter because their salary offer is worst than what i am getting from UiTM so i guess it is definitely a 'NO' for it.

and Adi has been the sweetest thing that ever happened to me. he is always by my side to support me and never give up encouraging me to give my best to everything i do.

i love you with my whole heart husband.
thank you.

.getting mobile.

2010-01-22T13:54:00.001+08:00

Trying to blog using the ipod touch. Interesting but still having troubles with the touch screen. im so in love with this thing rite now!

XOXO

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod touch

.now, you are mine.

2010-01-21T17:17:00.000+08:00

i finally got my ipod touch!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

.it's two months today.

2010-01-20T00:37:00.004+08:00

hari ini dia pulang. aku masak pasta. and meatballs with ikea meat sauce. jangan tanya sedap ke tak because i fail at that. but lia and him said sedap. heheee. Alhamdullillah. and there was dessert as complimentary.

then as usual, after dinner lia will go upstairs minding her own business leaving me and him having the limited quality time together. we watched TV and talked about the day and about other stuffs bla bla bla and he played with the guitar for a while. we cherished every moment spent. sebabnye we only see each other three times a week. so macam nak lepas rindu la ni. hehehee..

this is the best thing about living separated like this. rindu banyak banyak bila tak jumpa then bila jumpa you'll appreciate your partners even more and will cherish every single moment spent. however, i still prefer living together with him. fullstop =)

anyway today is our two months anniversary. time flies fast. i made him an artwork using microsoft paint before he went to sleep.

and he said 'happy 2 months anniversary to you too!' and gave me the sweetest smile and kiss ever! nothing makes me happy but him.

~dear adi,

i never regret for making the first move dulu...
back then, i already knew that you'll be the one that can make me happy. forever.

.rindu ini.

2010-01-18T22:10:00.004+08:00

me : *sigh*

him : bakpe ni...?

me : rindu...

him : olor...jangan gitu...kekgi saya pung dop bermaya. esok saya balek neh...

me : okay (senyum)

(picture taken at Vistana Hotel Kuantan some time in December 2009)

.taking the risks.

2010-01-18T11:34:00.003+08:00

we are happy with the house in Kuantan. it's old but it is nice and spacey - in another word, kind of big because only the two of us are staying there and most of the days, he's staying there alone while i am in Dungun. as for now, i only go there during the weekends after my classes at UKM.

anyway, last weekend was great. did some shopping at IKEA while i was in KL and since i drove my car so it was easy for me to transport the stuffs to Kuantan. also, we went to do more shopping in Kuantan. bought a queen-sized mattress, fabrics for curtains and more home stuffs at Carrefour. i'm broke already!!!

then we had so much fun at home - planning, organizing, day dreaming, cleaning, nailing the walls, laughing and enjoying every moment spent.

however, despite being happy living in that house, his mom doesn't like it and wants us to move to another neighborhood where there are more Malay neighbors. the current house is in a chinese plus few malay-houses-je-yang-ada neighborhood. hmm...and we dont really have a choice but to start figuring what to do. insyaAllah there should be ways to solve this problem.

and classes at UKM, eh, no..not the classes but the assignments are killing me already. i hate to admit this but i am a total failure at multi-tasking (betol ke this sentence?) im having difficulties to organize my life as a teacher and also being a student. at times i feel like quittin' my job and focus on my studies sampai abes and then later i will find a proper job. in the mean time maybe i can do part time jobs. but i dont know if it is the right thing to do.

should i just take the risk?

a tribute to Hana ;)

2010-01-08T22:30:00.003+08:00

dear hana, this is for you...

okay, this was many years back, if im not mistaken some time in 2007. i was at The Lost World of Tambun in Ipoh, Perak. you should go there because they really allow you to touch and hold the tiger cubs. cuma nya i got the privilege to play with Jessie (the cub's name) because the big cat trainer saw me having too much interest on the tigers. so he came to me and told me to stay until the place tutup if i want to play with the cub lama lama. so i did, that's why i was able to play with it. trust me it stinks, quite heavy and the fur sangat tak fluffy or soft like the normal house cats. haha. and that Jessie was really naughty that tak sampai 30 mins playing with it i da really exhausted. she was 5 months old at that time.

and soon after that, the trainer who was also a supervisor at Sunway Petting Zoo KL offered me a part time job there. they didnt pay me much but i had so much fun playing, taking care and feeding the animals. not to forget, cleaning the cages every morning!!

.this and that.

2010-01-04T21:51:00.003+08:00

today, we are married for one month and fifteen days. and today, we officially leased a decent house in Kuantan. he just got the keys and already went to check out the house. he said the house is okay and and i definitely believe him.

and today he enrolled himself as a member at a gym somewhere in Kuantan. i feel happy for him, well at least he will have something beneficial to do rather than staying at home as usual. also, this make me feel a bit challenged-lah kan nak fit again. haha. this is good cayam!

well, the new semester has just begun. i am teaching eighteen hours this semester which is a huge relief. however, my class time table makes me sick. i hate classes at Karah and also night classes. i hope there will be changes in the time table or i am going to make a request for that.

i am teaching BEL 311 and BEL 260 this semester. entered the classes already and as far as i am concerned, the students seem okay and hopefully they will not create much troubles along the way.

also, i already registered myself for master classes at UKM this semester despite from my first intention to extend the classes to next semester. reason? konon konon nak concentrate to this new married life tapi sebenarnya malas kot but couldnt help it when dad (who pays my tuition fees) wont allow me to extend. and he damn knows that kalo da extend, surely malas nak study lagi nanti. 'i want you to be the benchmark. the role model to your brother and sister' - this is something he'll always say to me, making me feel responsible in so many things that i do because i am the bigger sister. at times i feel it's a burden but most of the times i enjoy the responsibility. plus, they are the dearest to me.

oh, will be hangin out in Cherating this weekend. a surfing competition will be held there . ladies who wish to eye shirtless-hot-body males, you are most welcome to join me *wink wink*

i am...

2010-01-04T21:23:00.003+08:00

...craving for this.

iPod touch.

p/s: you'll be mine, soon =)

.Welcome 2010.

2010-01-01T01:49:00.001+08:00

Wishing you a Happy New Year.
May all your dreams come true.

.Hard Rockin' Day.

2009-12-30T02:05:00.007+08:00

the three days and two nights honeymoon trip to Hard Rock Hotel Penang was totally awesome! everything rocks and we had a blast. from the bed to the food, to the spa and the pool, the room, the beach, the lobby, the hotel shops, the hallways, the people, the live bands.. everything at the hotel have made us wanting to stay there forever.

well, i couldnt agree more when it is called first class entertainment hotel. we were allowed to turn on the music as loud as we can in the hotel room and no one was bothered about it. that's one of the coolest thing that one can do at this hotel. ngeh ngeh.

let the pictures do the talking (nway, these pics are taken by camera phone. pictures from the camera still cannot be retrieved)

the view from King Club

him at King Club - i was checking in at this mo

the welcome cake and sparkling juice

the bed - kat pillows and bedsheet ada guitar nye logo. sgt cool.

~the beatles

the view from the beach. the four statues are the beatles

at the entrance. above you.

at Hard Rock Cafe. chillin.

2009-12-02T23:29:00.003+08:00

petang tadi jalan jalan tengok Dungun banjir. masuk kampung keluar kampung... it's flooding everywhere. kesian those people yang umah and kedai masuk air. some shops are still operating mencari rezeki. some food stalls along the road to UiTM are also operating though air kat bawah sket je lutut. and some people still go to the flooded eateries to fill up their hungry stomach. duk bersila atas kerusi. nice.

now the rain has just stopped but i believe it will come back soon. the frogs are singing, calling for the rain =)

anyway, there was a mouse in my kitchen. i noticed the poos here and there but couldnt find exactly where it was hiding until yesterday i heard such sounds it made. went to 5 shops around town to get the trap but it was a total failure. couldnt get any. went home, frustrated.

was cleaning the kitchen when i suddenly heard the sounds again. behind the kitchen cabinet. grabbed the air wick odour stop (citrus) spray and sprayed in the cabinet. didnt have to wait long when i saw the small greyish creature coming out from the cabinet to escape under the kitchen door out of the house. blocked the gap under the door. relieved.

will be going to Kuantan tomorrow. cant wait to see him. we will be house hunting insyaAllah and watch a movie. New Moon maybe?

.having babies.

2009-12-02T00:14:00.002+08:00

......................is it supposed to be planned or not?

.this is for Jet and Shef.

2009-12-02T00:08:00.002+08:00

Congratulations dear Jet and Shef on your new bundle of joy, Adam Zuhayr.

.some wedding shots.

2009-12-01T00:28:00.002+08:00

.finally she speaks.

2009-11-30T22:07:00.002+08:00

here i am again. it has been some time i havent written anything here and it makes me feel guilty of not doing so. was too busy with almost everything i barely had time to go online.

well, married life is totally cool. though i am only married for 10 days, there are already ups and downs and i believe these are the things that are making it even more beautiful. new things are discovered and learned and we are enjoying every moment of it.

talking about the wedding, it was a dream came true and i loved everything about it. for those who made it there, thank you so much for being a part of our beautiful wedding memories. we had a whole bunch of great time and it was the moment i'll never forget. and for those who were not there, it is okay, insyaAllah we will meet again some day. and friends dearest, thank you so much for the gifts and wishes.

Eidul Adha was celebrated with joy, everybody was excited with the 'newly weds' that we had to go here and there visiting families of both sides, getting to know 'em. exhausting but worth the effort, after all they are families.

and now i am finally home in Dungun. re-organizing my life as a wife, a paid worker and a daughter. there are many things to be considered. the house is still in a total mess. wedding stuffs are still laying around here and there, wedding gifts are consuming a quarter of my living hall, there are laundries needed to be done and the weather frustrates me, it has been raining since early morning and i wonder when it will stop. i just cant wait to move out and live together with him. properly.

.the life after this.

2009-10-27T22:49:00.003+08:00

at times i wish i have more time for everything. wedding preps, school, work, family, him, friends and myself. i have been really busy with everything that i always get sick these days. migraines, gastritis and extreme exhaustion. some nights i barely sleep causing me to sleep under my desk at the office during the days in between classes. and when i get home, i will be really tired to really do anything at all. in fact, sometimes i refuse to talk to anyone especially when i teach four classes in a day which is equivalent to eight hours of teaching in a day. im currently havin difficulties focusing on my work and study and things always get messed up.

im about to embark a new life soon. will have someone living in the same house, sharing things, doing chores, being responsible, being tolerate, extended families i barely know but will get to know 'em better, restrictions and bla bla bla...

can i cope?
insyaAllah...

.counting the days.

2009-10-21T08:03:00.001+08:00

i have one month to go...

.this wish is for you.

2009-09-17T11:53:00.000+08:00

dear friends,

Selamat Hari Raya
Maaf Zahir Batin

.chentahati.

2009-09-05T09:38:00.001+08:00

you make my day.
thank you

.the babies' affair.

2009-09-05T02:35:00.002+08:00

encikluzd's cousin is now a proud daddy of a boy. born some time last week- i cant remember exactly the date of birth but i remember we were very excited looking for the perfect gifts to give him. did some shopping and bought him a very damn cute romper and a pair of baby shoes. hopefully we can see the baby some time this weekend as we're going back to KT.

and Jetto my dearest friend announced in her blog that she is going to have a boy too! insyaAllah. kinda excited to shop for the comin baby though her wedding gift is still pending. haha. sorry ek Jet. now the excitement has transferred to your baby. abes la dia.. aunty suya just cant hardly wait!!!!

oh, and cute Nawal, though we still have not met, i miss you dearly. you too have special gifts from me =) im really sorry for not comin to see you. been really busy these past few weeks . i will try my best to see you ok. pwomish!

and the other day nadia sent me a picture of little Salma. she has really grown. the last time i saw her was months ago. if im not mistaken, during Jalak's wedding. and now even Jalak is going to be a father soon. anyway, Salma has started to walk. what an incredible thing to watch. i miss you too Salma.

congratulations proud mommy and daddy.
i am so proud of you.

2009-09-03T01:46:00.002+08:00

assignments and work are killing me. lack of sleep just adds up to the burden. things are very difficult now with tonnes of things to do with so little time to fit in. at times i really feel like abandoning everything- work, study, wedding, assignments.. and snuggle comfortably on my not-so-cool-couch-but-so-grateful-to-have-it and watch TV and do nothing else but watch TV.
oh, and cook. i just realized that i might have fallen in love with cooking.

today, the menu was nasi ayam. and it was my first time. and he enjoyed it. he really enjoyed it.

=)

.lovin it.

2009-08-27T03:24:00.002+08:00

wedding preparation is really making me exhausted. anyway i just love these. would want these kinds of pelamin for my wedding.

(for nikah)

(reception at the hall)

2009-08-27T02:56:00.002+08:00

my small-spaced living hall is in a total mess and i am so damn lazy to clean it up. was working on the door gifts and now that it is done, i hate the fact of cleaning up the mess. hmm...
anyway, life has been really hectic these past few weeks that i hardly have time to blog or facebook. been a silent reader to some blogs though.

up to this day, the activity of fasting is great. Alhamdullillah, no signs of gastritis. and ive lost 2 kilos but not really proud of it as my eating habit is still crazy. haha.

oh, and it is kinda sad to break fast alone at home. most of the days. but then, thinking of it again and again, what choice do i have. at times i think that maybe im losing weight because of this because sangat tidak berselera to break fast alone. in fact i tried to tambah nasi today but failed. satu pinggan sudah cukup. couldnt eat more though the lauk i bought sangat sedap. huhu.

classes are crazy. i hardly have time to rest at work. everything is in a hurry because i need to cover the syllabus ASAP. the mid term test will be in the first week of September. plus, classes are packed. i have two days of six hours teaching without gaps. lucky the classes are not located far from each other or i might die on my way rushing to the class. always i am out of breath once i enter the classroom and the students will look at me as if i just ran a marathon. and while they feel chilled in the air-conditioned room, i sweat like hell in front of the class. duhhh!

and during yesterday's night class, the students hold a birthday party to one of the class member. it was fun but i was so full to eat the slice of cake. it was done after the class ended. i went home early as my encikluzd was here in Dungun. just couldnt wait to see him.

tomorrow i am going to KL with him. there are a lot of things to do and buy. hopefully everything will be great and as according to plans.

.Happy Ramadhan friends.

2009-08-23T05:37:00.000+08:00

stole this from Hana.

"It was the month of Ramadān in which the Qur’ān was [first] bestowed from on high as a guidance unto man and a self-evident proof of that guidance... (2:185) Al-Quran.....Ramadan Kareem! May Allah accept our duas & help us rejuvenate our faith."